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princess_wahju's journal
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have you ever been chatting with a group of friends (or worse yet, with your boss) when it suddenly gets very quiet and you realize you have committed a cardinal sin of conversing and killed the conversation? there are many unspoken rules covering conversations; the list below will help you to contribute while avoiding a conversation kill.
you may be the subject you are most familiar with but you must avoid talking constantly about yourself. there is a fine line between talking about yourself and connecting with another by sharing your experiences and pointing to similarities between yourself and the person with whom you are speaking. learn to communicate by taking turns; let others speak then use your turn to ask relevant questions or comment on what they say. let others in the conversation know you are interested in what they have to say.
never interrupt others when they are talking. conversation is easily killed by constant interruption. most of us find it easier to talk than to listen but, for the sake of conversation, learning to listen is critical.
repetition is a real conversational killer. it must be human nature to get hold of a subject and not let go since so many seem to practice repetitive speaking every day. repetition annoys most listeners very quickly and just as quickly, the conversation is dead. learn to let go and move on with your train of thought.
misery may love company but it has no place in extended conversations. don’t drag everyone else into a negative place; avoid speaking of too many negative topics at once. the first line of a famous poem written in the 1800’s shows us that negativity has always been looked at as in bad taste; “laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone” … this line hits the nail on the head.
no one likes to feel the fool. when conversing avoid talking down to others or you will surely kill the chat. generally speaking it is best to stay away from technical terms and industry specific jargon unless you are certain that the people with whom you are conversing understands what you are saying.
potty mouth is likely to offend and you should find better ways to make your point. using foul language is not considered socially acceptable ao most people; by resorting to cuss words you are views as lacking in vocabulary. you come off as ignorant in any conversation where you rely on offensive language as a communication tool.
never make assumptions based on anything but fact. you are not solomon and you therefore should never be judgmental. never judge unless you have been made privy to all the facts. factors such as age, sex, race and appearance should never enter into assumptions you may make. a few poorly chosen words related to any of these factors are guaranteed to be conversation killers; not to mention that they may cost you your job in a work situation.
conversation is a skill; one that can be improved and fine-tuned. by simply adhering to the 7 tips above you will find yourself killing conversations less frequently. would you care to share your most embarrassing kill so that others may learn from your mistake?
Dec 30th 2010- receive the news that you had stage 4 cancer. cried while travelling on train. just cant take it.
slowly.. day by day...
it break my heart everytime i visit you. yet, no matter how horrible i feel in my heart, i just have to visit you. for fear, if i don, i will just miss seeing you one last time. i never felt so scared to lose anyone before. nv. but all i wan and do is pray that God will let u live one day longer. don take you away. pls don..
you are so close to me, much closer dn my own parents. you love me, dote on me, care for me without condition more than anyone else in the world. you are literally my physical refuge i can run to everytime i am sad and are in troubles. i nv felt so afraid that i ll lose anyone before till i receive the news..
i remember the days when i'm still young, and you are still healthy and we were all staying in the old house in sims drive.way before they took mi home by force. you used to carry me and let mi sit on ur laps in the past.. all the way till pri sch.. even when i'm all grown up and you did nt realise hw weak n old u ve become, once in a while you will still motion mi to sit on ur lap.. sometimes i rly wish i could.. if you were still s physically healthy.. i remember the times you give me money to buy candies, the times you force me to watch opera wid you, the times i chase your frens out of our hse.. those are the wilful days.. yet you nv gave up on me, always loving me, defending me, be thr for me..
even when i shifted back home wid dem. even when she don allow me to go ur hse, you travel all te way back to my pri sch by walking just to visit me.. those are the memories. the days.. you are just so important.. today van mention.. some ppl will still be affected many yrs after their love ones die, mayb i will be one.. you are just so close to me.. even just by thinking.. it's already tearing me apart.. affecting my days.. God pls don take her away... she promise to see me get married.. Lord pls..
you know i used to rly wan to get attached, but everytime when i pray for this area, i would end off my prayer sentence telling God that as long as He can sustain you, i don mind exchange a bf just for you to live longer.. i rly cannot imagne days without you.. nv felt you as important till now.. so sorry.. wasted the yrs.. wat have i done.. Lord, pls sustain her.. i regret the days i did not take your words seriously when you told me to visit you whenever i have nothing on.. even though we stayed so close, wat have i done... i wish i can find a job quick and give you some money from my 1st pay.. i wish i have a bf this instant to show you.. i wish you can hold my hands when i get married.. very night when i think of you, i just cant stop crying.
diane say you are slping more and more each day.. every second i am away from you, i m jus so afraid you will jus leave me silently.. pls dont.. God, tell me how am i to go through this..? this is breaking me apart.. so dear so dear to me..
To sum this yr up, one word: EVENTFUL.
yet however, many events come and go, somehow i only felt the yr just kick start for me only. haha.
Those who knew, know this yr has'nt been rly easy for me apart from all these yrs i have pass by. this yr is the only year that TOO MANY changes and happenings gate crash my life. Many ups and many downs. What can i say besides really a big THANK YOU to my dear Jesus for standing me by, all the grace and love You never fail to supply. when i was least faithful, You stood faithfully beside me all these while. a big heartfelt Thank You for ever loving and accepting me despite how much i don deserve it.
And not to forget, Joanna my dearest. Also not forgetting my new found guide in my walk wid God and the one who gave me a new purpose in my journey wid God in this wonderful house and family, beloved Huijun. Also someone that tries very hard to keep me nt lonely, vanessa ben. life wont be any easier and 2010 wont be rounding off well if it were'nt for you guys. really.
I would rly say that this yr is indeed tough and heart wrenching for me, a time i stood at my lowest and lost for the longest. Many setbacks and failures, heartaches and worries. Yet, because of these, now i can say Thank God for Him and all these ppl standing by me. Bible says that brothers are found by adversaries. Indeed, i found many. Many come and go in life, yet how many would come in and stand by you during your lowest? Thank God for people who truly care and love me. Thank God that because of these people, i know i am nv left alone to struggle alone. Thank God for these people, i know i still have a purpose in You. I always ask You in my heart: who will ever love me for who i am and truly be thr for me when i need it not only when i deserve it, having to earn love. today i Thank God i m love. without having to earn it. Thank God for these people i am love. Thank God that other that You, i am still physically love. someone actually bothers to care how i feel and whats gg on in my life, after, so long. after all, being a cgc and a mature member in cg, we're to account for our own. wonders how long have i not felt Joanna and God is the only one for me in these entire place already. Still, Thank God because of You and her, i am still ard.
Start of this year, much of my closer members in my group back sliden and again i question myself, have i not done enough. Why did history repeats itself? have i not love enough, care enough, what else did it exactly went wrong Lord. Heartache for the lost of my precious little ones. Went through much of only what God knew. Did all the ridiculous things i haven done in the longest. just that this time it went worst.
Follows by dad was admitted twice in ICU for stomach ulcers, only to discharge one day before the official shifting of the house. Childrens' church people came and visit, and i truly felt loved and cared for, once again, after so long. By this point, also to face the actual shifting of house, a dream i dream of since pri 1 ever since i move back home with my parents, which is to escape from them. But only when i was shifting over, i ask myself is that what i truly wanted and was happy. i have dream of leaving my mum ever since i was a child that hasn't been as close and love by her since young, never really felt that i belong anywhere in that family, or house. Though i forgave, the feeling never did left, the house still reminds me of the past nightmares i survived through. Finally i am leaving that place, leaving that family, yet, i don't feel happy. Perhaps i am too used to that kind of life, with all these people hanging around. All of a sudden, i am no longer sharing room with my sister, everyday i have to return to a house that will only not be empty at 11pm earliest. Back in those days, mum scream alot at home, but at least, ican return to a home whr i can talk to my siblings. Now, i still return home to aunt screaming, but only after 11pm. everyday i return home to being alone, eating alone, watching tv alone. having nobody to talked to or share with. even lonelier when i don have my sister with me. Everyday was depressing for me because i had nobody to talk to literally. Come to a point everyday word count can be less than 500. everyday was just another lonely day to pass by. i know joanna is there for me, but this point, she have found eugene. i do find it lonely sometime. but still, Thank God for eugene for trying so hard to step into my life too. :)
Just when i was feeling all depress about everything going on, Huijun got me visiting with her. Every week, i look forward t alk and listen from her. talking with her i learnt things, talking to her keeps me positive about the future. Each time i talk with her, i felt i was not nobody in this world, and get me back on track with You. Slowly, from visiting children, to doing busing, i find myself enjoying my time with the children. and also found back purpose and somewhere i can be puposeful and appreciated for giving myself. Another thing i can look forward to in life. More than just looking forward to visit now every wk, i also look forward to every busing opportunities simply because i just enjoy serving and my time with the children. Occasionally, i still have the feeling of not done my best and done enough and not giving gd results, but i m learning that i have already done my best, all that i cant do and control, i am leaving it to You.
Lastly, truly sometimes i wonders, am i to expect lesser so that i dont have to face as much disappointment? just these two months, You gave e so many words to remind me abt many tings, but to be honest, i am still coping my disappointments. sometimes i look at people, i wonders when will my time come? will i ever deserve the same and will i ever have the same. will it ever happen to me? all i wish for is that i can show gramma before she move on and one day, i can have my own family of love. someone who truly loves me for who i am and one day i can be a mum who let my child know how much i love them and they're special and precious to me. will i ever have all these wonderful things in my life? once again i lost hope in this area and visions for this area towards future. liking someone is tiring, never get appreciated. God take all emotions away pls. what is not of Yours. maybe, if things are good, maybe one day i ll find someone who appreciates me. someone who love me more than i love him and i wont feel so lonely and not appreciated ba. i m tired. kind of stop believing the best in this area. if it comes it comes. if not, i guess, i just have to count my blessings.
Just recently, i found another one that keeps me not lonely. Van ben. :) though i am not a phone talking person, at least, i have someoe to talk to. someone i can relate. joke ard and cheer me up. someone that can keep mi positive in this walk and ministry too. Thank God for her, i feel love too.
even as 2010 is coming to an end, indeed it was eventful, maybe can say toughest, but also at the same time, if it was rly this tough, next yr i can have more positive expectation that chances are, things will definately be and gets betta. 2011, definately a better yr ahead. Drop the failures and hurts of this yr and nv bring it to next, time to move tog, move on wid God to a more wonderful exciting yr ahead wid God and more exciting things i can look forward to in cch too i guess. :)
if only i can make just this wish to come true...
dono since when, although you re not the best looking person ard, you just caught my attention le. can i nt admit in my heart? if only this wish can come true. how many times must i confess n believe? seems hopeless. if only i jus have a tiny lil wish. Daddy pls hear my lil wsh and grant my lil wish, if nt, talk all that is nt of Urs, away.
if only.. things are wat we wish always..
even as i light this candle this morning.. i silently wish.... a tiny lil wish...
can i not spend xmas alone again?
Here is the analysis:
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.Here is the analysis:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.How you control your husband, who will lead the family and who will be led?
You will never expect to control your boyfriend or husband. Your boyfriend and you will take turns to make decision and the decision is often acceptable to both of you. Whatever you want to let him know, you can just tell him straightforwardly. This is a good relationship, a pretty modern one.How will you choose your Mr Right?
You will make the most of being able to shop around for Mr Right. You love your freedom and will have a lot of fun learning about what sort of man you like. When you do find the guy for you, nobody will be able to keep you away from the church.Who will be your future Mr Right?
Your real-life hero will be manly. He'll be dependable, even financially. He will protect you and always respect your feelings. He'll probably be quite a bit older than you.When will you get married?
You will be very determined and thorough in choosing a spouse. You'll study every detail about your man before saying yes to a life of love. You will eventually make a good choice, but you'd better be sure that he's willing to wait that long.What sort of wife will you be?
If your hubby is crazy enough to ask you to do silly things, you may as well have fun with him. You'll make a fun-loving wife.Will you and your husband have a good time together?
You and your spouse will choose to spend time on more romantic activities. You won't end up quite as healthy, but you'll have plenty of fun going out for drinks, watching concerts or playing cards at home with other friends.What will your children be like?
Your kids will be quiet and won't give you a hard time - they'll be a joy to have around. However, you should teach them to be stronger and more confident in themselves. Otherwise they might grow up to be losers.How loyal are you?
You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you're a bit of a flirt, but actually you've got a loyal heart. You'll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved husband.Here is the analysis:
It is common for you to imagine that you will have a happy marriage and wonderful kids. You are expecting your family to be like a happy family in the soap operas. "Dad is already home, mom." said the kids in a cheerful voice. You want that kind of warmth in your family.Here is the analysis:
You are generally a calm person. You get excited when your favorite band is in town, when you are going on a date with your partner or when you and your friends are dancing. Your friends mean everything to you. You hate it when the summer is over.You like art, and some poetry. You can throw a party, or help a friend put one together. You usually have no trouble finding dates, but you occasionally hit a dry spell. You like the outdoors, usually, and rainy weather doesn't bother you. You sometimes get jealous of people who are smarter or better looking than you, but you wouldn't hold it against them if you got to know them. You are on good terms with your parents, even though they annoy you once in a while. People tend to think you are reliable and trustworthy. You like animals.
Here is the analysis:
The egg indicates your attitudes towards your relationships with others.
You care so much about keeping your relationships.Here is the analysis:
When communicating with the one you like, you don't know how to understand him/her.Here is the analysis:
Here is the analysis:
A person who is kind and generous is attractive to you.YOU NEED A THIRD PARTY
You have no idea at all about how to tell the one that you have fallen in love with. It's safe to say that asking a friend for help is your best solution to get started.The first qualification that you want from your partner is:
Personality: a person with a kind and good character will always attract you.Here is the analysis:
You want your partner to be a little bit more relaxed, calm and composed.Here is the analysis:
Your Sixth Sense Score: 70%
You are reasonable and won't get blown by temptations. However, you might miss some great opportunities.Here is the analysis:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person.You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values. You stick to your values with passionate conviction, but can be influenced by someone you care deeply about. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by quiet reserve.
In everyday activities you are tolerant, open-mind, flexible, and adaptable. If one of your inner loyalties is threatened, though, you will not give and inch. You usually enjoy the present moment, and do not like to spoil it by rushing to get thing done. You have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward.
You are interested mainly in the realities brought to you by your senses, both inner and outer. You are apt to enjoy fields where taste, discrimination, and a sense of beauty and proportion are important. You have a special love of nature and a sympathy with animals. You often excel in craftsmanship and the work of your hands is usually more eloquent than words.
You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you-- human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are perfectionists whenever you deeply care about something, and are particularly suited for work that requires both devotion and a large measure of adaptability.
The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when you are being as effective as others. You take for granted anything you do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate yourself.
It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself. Actually, you have much to give and need only to find the spot where you are needed.